Potty Break – Dealing with the Holidays – Episode 13 – 9 powerful phrases that encourage kids to grieve

Show Notes:

In this episode Jennie and Lynn help parents with some practical tips to help their children engage in the grieving process.

Learn the 5 biggest mistakes parents make and 9 helpful phrases you can use to help them heal.

  1. I know that you want to be “fine” but before that can happen we have to feel the sad
  2. If you are not going to be sad, then I am going to take some time to feel sad instead.
  3. Why don’t we just feel sad together
  4. After a good cry session. That was awesome work, lets do something to make our hearts happy now (ice cream?)
  5. I am also sad you can’t be with them (bio parents).
  6. I wish I could have been there to….
  7. It must have been so hard…..
  8. Sound like there were some really wonderful moments, could you share some with me?
  9. Silence

About Potty Break

Potty Break is a series of daily training and encouragement videos for foster and adoptive parents…designed to be watched during those precious few minutes that you can find some alone time….your potty break. (Parents of kids with other special needs are free to listen in 🙂 – most techniques we suggest are effective for kids that have other types of trauma and neurological developmental issues.

Segment Overview

The first segment of Potty Break, Handling the Holidays consists of 13 episodes dedicated to helping family with adopted and foster children with special needs thrive during the holidays. Jennie and Lynn laid out 5 reasons that kids struggle more during the holidays that at any other time of the year.

  1. Sensory Processing Issues: All the extra sights, sounds and smells overstimulate children with Sensory Issues. Sensory issues are common among children with in utero exposure and other early traumas (Episodes 3, 4 & 5).
  2. Anxiety: All kids get anxious around the holidays. As anxiety goes up, functioning goes down. Many of the children that were adopted from hard places already had very little capacity for anxiety so the holiday put them over the edge (Episodes 6 & 7).
  3. Self Regulation Issues: For a variety of genetic, mental health, and trauma related reasons, some children lack the capacity to regulate their own emotional state. Parents of these kids will need to help them stay regulated and set realistic expectations (Episodes 8, 9, 10 & 11).
  4. Trauma triggers: Often the worst times of our kids lives happened during the holidays. Sensations and situations can trigger a traumatic response which can cause a physiological response, bring up an old memory that they may try to suppress or both. Parents can help their kids discover what is going on to reduce the child’s regression. (Episode 12)
  5. Grief and Loss: Special moments are a reminder of what our kids lost or wish they had. Processing this loss periodically is a necessary part of acceptance. (Episode 13)
Lynn Owens
Follow Me

Lynn Owens

Lynn is the co-founder of Forever Homes, and Owner of Canyon Lakes Family Counseling Center, a Mental Health Clinic, where he specializes in treating adopted and foster children. He has over 20 years experience in Residential Care, Foster Care and adoption. Combined he and his wife have parented about 100 kids.
Lynn Owens
Follow Me
Jennie Owens
Follow Me

Jennie Owens

Co-founder at Forever Homes
In addition to her work as an author, parenting coach at Canyon Lakes Family Counseling Center and as a foster parent trainer for the State of Washington, Jennie is an adoptive mother with more than 20 years experience in foster, group and residential care.
Jennie Owens
Follow Me