Our Next Phase: Recovering from two decades of special needs Parenting
We needed a change. After an intense 12 years of parenting children from hard places and coming along side of other foster and adoptive families, we were in need of personal rejuvenation. All in all we?d parented over 100 children and helped over 1,000 families. We... Read more
Do you Have Realistic Expectations of Children’s Behavior in Adoption?
I was attending a writer’s?conference in Port Townsend when a colleague?shared a story about her crazy uncle. The uncle had purchased two piranhas and placed them in an aquarium in his home. One day, motivated by inebriation and the encouragement of two close... Read more
You Don’t Suck At Parenting (As Much As You Think You Do)
Think you are a horrible parent? Before I started training foster parents, I worked for the Fostering Together program, supporting and recruiting foster parents in our area. One day, a local foster parent contacted me with some struggles she was having with a... Read more
How to be a bad adoptive parent: A lesson from Santa
Ever stopped and realized you had been a bad adoptive parent.?It hit me the other day. My 17-year-old son and I were cranking the Christmas tunes while running errands when Michael Bubl? started singing Santa Clause is Coming to Town. ?he knows if you?ve been bad or... Read more
My Weekly Church Service
We have an exciting opportunity to tell you about! Many foster and adoptive parents aren’t able to attend church services because of their children’s struggles. It’s challenging to find a church set up to work with children who have special needs or... Read more
“I Haven’t Given Up”
As we pulled out of the driveway, I was very aware of my bad attitude. I?d been giving and giving to my daughter, and the only thing she?d been giving back to me was sass and attitude. I knew that taking her to Sacramento for the Revolve Tour, a conference designed... Read moreReserved Retreat Follow Up
The Winter 2016 Reserved Retreat is over! I watched as the women walked in. Weary, not only from travel, but from life. The lines of stress etched in their faces. Many walked?in with heavy burdens; alone, unknown. They walked in, unsure of whether this would be a safe... Read more7 Tips for Friends, Family, Teachers, Pastors & Neighbors of Couples Adopting Special Needs Children
The first year or two after the placement of a child with an attachment issue is very difficult on the child and the family. I equate it to a trauma treated in an emergency room. It is not pretty and there are some extreme measure that need to be taken to stabilize the patient. Having gone through this myself a couple of times, I wish I had had something I could have given to the people around me to help them know how they could help (actually not working against me would have been fine too). I wrote this list so that adoptive parent can have something to hand to their support network. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments below.
Read more